Let’s sit down & talk for a little bit.
It’s been a weird five/six months for me. The last two months have been really good though. I find myself being Happy-Leah once again. I’m a naturally a very happy person, so it’s hard for me to admit that for several months I was unhappy, especially because it was caused by boy/relationship ending. I’ve never let something like that affect me for so long. I also let the fact that the person closest to me has a real relationship that takes time away from me affect me. She’s happy though, and that makes me happy. But to see her planning on moving three hours away to be with her boyfriend (who is one of my former best friends) makes me feel like I’ve got the really shitty end of the deal that is my two friends dating.
And then there’s this that popped up on my Facebook feed last week:
For the first time, since about January, my heart ached. I told Kathleen today that my reaction to that was just “REALLY?! I MEAN, REALLY!!?!” because I am so tired of that feeling. Mike wouldn’t have been so hard to get over if him and I were actually friends. It’s hard because I genuinely enjoyed him as a person and friend. I’ve had too many great people become ghosts in my life and I am tired of it. But let’s be honest here, in my life right now I have the greatest friends I have ever had. Thinking back to how well I am taken care of when things are bad makes me cry. Everything from pumpkin patch trips, last minute beer and pizza, birthday parties, lots of coffee—I am just given a lot of grace and love I don’t deserve.
I love my friends and my family. Madeline and Kathleen’s birthdays were a day apart. Both of them told me that I “didn’t have to” or that they “don’t need” any of the things I got them—but they do. My friends deserve anything and everything I can give them. I cannot explain enough how thankful I am for the people in my life.
So if I haven’t told you lately, I love you all.
“A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” - Proverbs 17:22
“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but an encouraging word makes it glad.” - Proverbs 12:15
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” - Psalm 34:18
Abba, I belong to You.